I just wanted to say that I’m one of those naive childless twenty-somethings that has haughtily side-eyed iPad kids in restaurants, and I wanted to thank you for giving me some (in immediate hindsight really obvious) perspective on this. Parenting seems HARD and EXHAUSTING, and also all of our ‘shoulds’ about how kids ought to behave or how we ought to parent are more a product of our own idealised fantasies of parenthood than a realistic standard. Kids are going to be kids! And they’re probably going to turn out alright anyway.
I'm one of those "other" people, apologies in advance. But I do fitness coaching on a regular basis, and I'm one of those that can really only work out reliably with a class or a trainer. Some people are like that, and there's no shame in it (not that's what you expressed). And, as you said, having someone to push you can be extremely valuable, because most tend to cherry pick the exercises they like or are good at, which are almost certainly not the ones they need to do most. I wonder at the people that can go to the gym and do everything the way they're supposed to. It's also worth saying that those moments of working really hard, straining against limits, are where strength and skill gains are made.
I'm admittedly biased, but I can think of few other activities (parenting being one) that are as valuable as exercise. It's worth carving out time for!
I pay a couple hundred dollars a month for an online coach to tell me exactly what to do 3x/week and it's worth every penny. Getting myself into the gym is enough work already; I can't also be expected to think once I arrive.
Perceptive take on the parenting thing, too. My standard advice to new parents is to be wary of advice from other parents, as usually they tell you to do exactly what they did (bc of course, they think their own kids turned out great!). But you make a good point about priorities and values. Somehow, when it comes to kids, it's hard to remember these things are personal and varied.
That's smart! For the most part I really like going to the gym and have gotten more comfortable figuring out for myself what I should do (that was one of my goals working out solo the last few months). But I am, apparently, lazier than I care to admit... gotta go back to paying someone to yell at me!
Really appreciate the compassion and nuance in your reading of this person’s parenting piece.
I’d love to think that if I had kids it would be Amish-ville until they ship off to college, but then I saw what my sister had on her hands with a son and two step kids and it was very understandable that the screens came to the table. It’s a really effective pacifier. Hard to blame folks for it.
Unrelated, and embarrassingly dorky of me, but can I share my blog with you? It’s about an alternative dating strategy— deleting the apps and instead building a tiny non-functional house, as in a bower.
I just wanted to say that I’m one of those naive childless twenty-somethings that has haughtily side-eyed iPad kids in restaurants, and I wanted to thank you for giving me some (in immediate hindsight really obvious) perspective on this. Parenting seems HARD and EXHAUSTING, and also all of our ‘shoulds’ about how kids ought to behave or how we ought to parent are more a product of our own idealised fantasies of parenthood than a realistic standard. Kids are going to be kids! And they’re probably going to turn out alright anyway.
Great read!
I'm one of those "other" people, apologies in advance. But I do fitness coaching on a regular basis, and I'm one of those that can really only work out reliably with a class or a trainer. Some people are like that, and there's no shame in it (not that's what you expressed). And, as you said, having someone to push you can be extremely valuable, because most tend to cherry pick the exercises they like or are good at, which are almost certainly not the ones they need to do most. I wonder at the people that can go to the gym and do everything the way they're supposed to. It's also worth saying that those moments of working really hard, straining against limits, are where strength and skill gains are made.
I'm admittedly biased, but I can think of few other activities (parenting being one) that are as valuable as exercise. It's worth carving out time for!
I pay a couple hundred dollars a month for an online coach to tell me exactly what to do 3x/week and it's worth every penny. Getting myself into the gym is enough work already; I can't also be expected to think once I arrive.
Perceptive take on the parenting thing, too. My standard advice to new parents is to be wary of advice from other parents, as usually they tell you to do exactly what they did (bc of course, they think their own kids turned out great!). But you make a good point about priorities and values. Somehow, when it comes to kids, it's hard to remember these things are personal and varied.
That's smart! For the most part I really like going to the gym and have gotten more comfortable figuring out for myself what I should do (that was one of my goals working out solo the last few months). But I am, apparently, lazier than I care to admit... gotta go back to paying someone to yell at me!
My wife is diligent about bringing coloring books/kids journals and writing implements to restaurants for our 3 kids and it works pretty well
3 kids all on their own screen, beyond feeling kinda gross, is a lot of devices to lug around!
Perhaps substitute Etch a Sketch screens for electric ones
Really appreciate the compassion and nuance in your reading of this person’s parenting piece.
I’d love to think that if I had kids it would be Amish-ville until they ship off to college, but then I saw what my sister had on her hands with a son and two step kids and it was very understandable that the screens came to the table. It’s a really effective pacifier. Hard to blame folks for it.
Unrelated, and embarrassingly dorky of me, but can I share my blog with you? It’s about an alternative dating strategy— deleting the apps and instead building a tiny non-functional house, as in a bower.